I myself left the church I was attending because I would sit there on a Sunday and know that if the people there knew everything there is to know about me, they would not want me there sitting next to them or thier children. I did not dare "come out" to them because I feared (and rightly so) thier reaction. And then, after a while, I just couldn't stand being there any more because I wanted so badly to be totally honest and up front with my brothers and sisters in the Lord

I know exactly how you feel! I have felt this way so many times, but have not yet stopped attending church. I now go to a church where that sense of judgment is not present, but I still know that they would have trouble accepting a BLer. Anyway, these feelings are what are driving me to want to come out to my pastor.

Here's what I really wish I could say at church:

"Hi. I'd like to be part of your church. I dedicated my life to Jesus when I was 18, and I have grown closer to him over the last couple years, as he has helped me deal with something difficult that made me think God rejected me. But now I know better. I have experienced his grace. I know he loves me and accepts me, and I want to share that message of love, grace, and acceptance with others. But I believe in honesty, and I can't worship with people I can't be honest with. The difficulty I had was due to the fact that I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to boys in the way that most men are attracted to women. I have never and will never abuse a boy, and I am committed to loving people, including boys, in ways that won't harm them. I know God accepts me. If you can't, that's your problem, and I'll find a church where they will."

I wonder what would happen if I said this.

--Julius