Re: Scared, Confused and Lost
Submitted by Andy on July 30 2000 22:19:34
In reply to Scared, Confused and Lost submitted by Ngc224c on July 30 2000 19:00:15
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Hello Chris, Don't worry about your post being too long. Many are much longer than this one. If this is such a problem for you, why do you feel that God was in your meeting this man? If this man had your welfare at heart, why would he say that you could have him any way you needed? From what you say, you didn't "need" him in the first place. It sounds to me as though he wants to satisfy his desires, not your needs. Apparently you didn't stay away long enough, or breathe deeply enough. Moving in with him was a mistake, but of course, you can't do anything about what has already happened. I'm afraid this man set a trap for you, and you took the bait! He had his problems long before he met you, and he really shouldn't have gone to McDonald's to find a solution for them. The difficulties he has are not your doing. He wanted you for his own selfish pleasure, and by doing so, added to the problems he already had, as well as involving you in them. Why would he expect you to have answers to his problems? He chose to do what he wanted to do, and made you a part of it. The only way you are going to avoid this man, if you really want to, is to move out of his home. You need to get the number changed on your cell 'phone, or get rid of it. That way he won't be able to call you. If you get a telephone where you move, get an unlisted number. Also, if you want to use E-mail, change your address. If you don't feel right having a physical relationship with him, then don't have it. He is manipulating you the way a brute manipulates a whore whom he keeps only for his convenience. Do you feel that you owe this man something? It seems to me that he only wants you around to use and abuse. This is not a healthy, loving relationship. You need to end it, move away, and have nothing more to do with him. Why are you afraid that you won't please him? Why do you WANT to please him? People have no right to demand anything from others. Even God does not demand. He simply offers His salvation to you. You are not obligated to accept it. How can anyone blame you for not sharing your heart with them? It is your heart to share with whomever you desire. Are you talking about material things that he has given you, and money? Did you force any of that out of him?… Or did he just do it of his own free will? This is another attempt at controlling you, and making you feel obligated to accept his unwanted advances. His emotional episodes are not caused by you. It is the result of the fantasy he has built in his mind for what he wants you to be to him. You don't owe him your life. If he feels, as he said, that you have such great potential, why does he contradict everything you say or do? If his life revolves around you, why does nothing you say mean anything to him? What his life really revolves around is controlling you. He has used money, a home, gifts, and a persuasive tongue to accomplish this, and he has devastated and overwhelmed you by doing so. The fault lies with him, not with you. And you need to get completely away from him. This man cares for nobody except himself. Hope this helps. I'll be praying that God will make a way for you to get out of your situation. It's a trap that many boys fall into. In Christian love, Andy |
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