Re: One Day at A Time...
Submitted by Chris on August 13 2000 18:58:16
In reply to Amazing opportunity submitted by Forgiven on August 13 2000 15:59:37
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Hi Forgiven, I started seeing a church counselor about five years ago...and the subject of homosexuality came up. I didn't feel comfortable telling him I am a boylover, so he knew me as being gay. And so, because he knew I am also a recovering alcoholic (via A.A.), he assumed that this program would work twords my sexual "problem" as well. Of course, I agreed with him (at that time I had never even heard the word "boylove"), and spent a LOT of time putting myself through a lot of torment. The way I see it now, an addiction is a potentially destructive force in a person's life, unless it is somehow arrested....like an alcoholic will quit drinking and then maintain abstinance from it to stay sober. However, one can look at something like an addiction to food...a person in Over-eaters Anonimous knows that they cannot possably quit eating altogether. And, of course, there are sexual addicts as well. The twelve-step program of recovery, first introduced by Alcoholics Anonimous, has been quite successful in helping many differant addicts recover, myself included. But I believe one must determine if one is indeed an addict. Certainly there are heavy drinkers, and then there are alcoholics. There are big eaters, then there are food addicts. By the same definition, there are sexual people....then there are actually "sex addicts". However, when looking at sexual addiction, the person is addicted to WHATEVER form of sex he or she is orriented twords. It can run the whole gammit of human sexuality. So, I believe, that just simply being a Boylover does not mean that one is an addict. No more than just simply being an eater of food would make you a food addict or over-eater. This is why I think that, while certain pracices of twelve-step programs would be beneficial to a boylover, some (like total abstinance), would probably do more harm than potential good. I do not feel a need to abstain from boys....in fact, I think it would actually do more harm than anything. I find that when I am not around boys for a while, my mind actually tends to center itself around sex more. When I am around real, live boys, I tend to think less of sex, and more of how much fun it is to just be around them. Anyway, the years I spent with my YF were so great. And, although he never really knew exactly WHY I was so attatched to him (though I think he might have kind of an idea, now), he has always known how much I love him. So things have come to be quite nice....but never dull, that's for sure. I was a little shocked to find out about his friends but I welcome the opportunity to be a witness. I don't think they quite know what to think of my love for God....or my love for them, through God. It will be interesting indeed. God Bless my friend! Love in Christ Jesus, Chris |
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