first time post
Submitted by STRANGER on August 15 2000 12:15:47
| Just as my username states i am a stranger to boylove. I have to try and understand it now. My fiancee has told me that he is a boylover. He has tried his best to explain what his feelings are and still i am in a world of... i don't know exactly how i'm feeling about this. I love my fiancee very much and know i have to accept this part of him, but doing that is a constant effort right now. When i am not around him i "forget" about that part and things in my mind return to "normal", but i know i need to learn to live with it if our marrage is to last. I hope that my fiancee feels that he can share ANY of his thoughts with me, including if he thinks a particular boy is cute. I want him to share with me and feel that I am supportive but i don't know exactly how to be supportive. i try not to judge his comments as more than they are (which unfortunaly many other people would do). it is hard not to have that knee jerk reaction and judge him though because we aren't open (i feel) about discussing his feelings. i sometimes hear a stray comment about his feelings but that is it. I guess i am writing this in hopes he will read this and understand my recent thoughts and feel more comfortable about talking to me. I also hope that he will realize that i do need to talk about it and cannot ignore it. i'm afraid that if i do it is going to turn into one of those unspoken secrets that some families have and that will hurt our marrage. (i am very happy that he was honest with me. finding this out after years of marriage would have hurt so much more.) i probably should just tell him my feelings ...or confusion about my feelings... but i'm afraid to bring it up over he phone (since we don't see each other much in person). i hope he read this and responds. if any one else has any suggestions on how i can be supportive please let me know. I am so confused! thanks for reading my ramblings. |
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