Re: More thoughts...
Submitted by Jules on August 21 2000 15:32:33
In reply to Re: More thoughts... submitted by ken on August 20 2000 22:17:22
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Hi again ken, ("I'm a poet and...") I feel I missed an opportunity to have sex when I was a kid. Yes, I relate to that. A friend and I did mess about a bit together when we were both 12, but the friendship didn't last more than a few months. I often wonder if I would have had a happier teenage life if we had stayed together. I doubt if my sexuality would be any different now, though, either way. Sex with girls, well, that was totally taboo. How ironic that my dad always told me "Don't lust after the girls", "Don't have sex with a woman before marriage" and "Men shouldn't have sex with men", so that left me just one option - boys! Do you think I should avoid any contact with boys? No, I don't think that's necessarily right. I wasn't saying that I have, just that I could if circumstances required it (although in fact circumstances have brought it about to some extent). I never set out deliberately to escape my dependence on contact with boys. It was more of an accidental by-product of finding deeper contact with adult friends. I suddenly realised one year, "Hey, I don't mind if I miss camp this year!" I suppose it's a case of finding a positive angle on life as a whole before trying to deal with a negative one, not the other way around. There's a risk that giving up all contact while still "emotionally dependent" would only lead to searching out substitute contact, such as getting addicted to searching for pictures on the net, etc. There were times when I found myself in that situation, and perhaps it was due to focusing too much on overcoming what seemed to be my one big "problem", when really there were wider personality issues to work through. I've found it's better to relax a bit more, and focus on other things than the fact of boylove, and on other people than just boys. What do you think? Great to talk. With Christian love, Jules |
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