First Post (Part 5) -- looking for a cure (LONG)
Submitted by FeelingDirty on August 28 2000 06:45:53
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At the same time that I was becoming a mentor and confidante to this boy, I was becoming very close to his mother. One night after going to a very late movie with her and being passionate in the theater with each other, we went to my apartment. (The kids were with family). It was her birthday the next day, and I had set up a desk in my bedroom with a big beautiful bouquet of white flowers, some wrapped gifts, and a card. We had our first kiss in the elevator up to my apartment. It was very passionate, and I told her that kisses were almost as intimate to me as having sex. This turned her on. When we entered my apartment and she saw the gifts, she fell in love with me. We went to bed. It was a hot night, I had the window opened and I took the blankets off the bed. We slept in our underwear. We talked and started touching each other. I caressed her face and ran my fingers through her hair. She touched my chest and my legs, and then she started to ride me (as before). She pulled on my shorts and we both got naked. She commented on my size and how perfect I was for her. She knew that if we were going to have sex that it would have to be my decision (as I had already explained to her before). I got on top of her and almost entered her a few different times, but every time that I got close I thought of her divorce only two or three months before and I thought of her son -- he would hate me if he found out I had sex with his mother. This killed the moment for me and we brought each other to climax without having sex. We had many romantic interludes since then. Since this is getting to be real long, let me start to close this part and then get to the point. This boy's mother and I were very aware of his feelings for me -- the trust, mainly. I had become a mentor to him, and I couldn't hurt that. His mother and I were careful not to show our feelings for each other. Her son thought that she and I were just very good friends. We were careful not to kiss in front of him. We kissed in front of the other kids, but not in front of him. As time went on, he found out that his mom and I were actually a couple, and he would say things like, "If you guys get married I'm going to leave and move in with Dad!" and he would tell his mother, "He was my friend first!" I often found myself trying to explain my relationship with his mother and the possibility of us getting married. One time I asked him what kind of man he would like to marry his mom, and he said, "Someone who's nice to her. Someone who's nice to me. Someone who takes me places. And someone who has a lot of money." I said, "Well, I guess I pass the test. Can I marry her?" And he said, "Not until you take me to Disney World in Florida." I said, "Okay." And he said, "Okay, let's go." Then I said, "Seriously, will you mind if I marry your mom?" Then he said, "I don't want to talk about it." It was a weird situation. I had become the boy's confidante -- we had a very trusting relationship where he shared his personal feelings with me. Yet I was breaking his trust by getting involved with his mother, and this made me feel bad for him. I loved both him and his mom. And, as hard to admit as it is (this is my first time saying this), I found both of them sexually attractive. I felt guilty about breaking his trust, and I felt guilty about being in love with my girlfriend's son. I know that she wouldn't want to marry someone who found her son to be sexually attractive as well as her. I felt guilty for not letting her know what she was getting into. I started to stay more and more time at their house, and less time at my apartment (my plants had died). I often tucked the kids in at night. When they fell asleep on the floor, I carried them to bed. One night I kissed the boys on the cheek when I said goodnight. My young friend wiped his face and said, "Eww." I asked, "You didn't like that?" He said, "No." I asked, "You don't want me doing that?" He said, "No." Then I said, "I promise I won't do that again." I never kissed him again. But we have hugged each other many times since. When I stayed at their house at night, I usually snuck into their mom's room at night, and then went back to the couch before the kids woke up. One night her son came downstairs and saw that I wasn't on the couch. He came to her bedroom door and heard us talking. He asked, "Is he in there with you Mom?!" She said, "Go to bed. We're just talking." I heard him walk upstairs. I told her, "I need to talk to him to see if he's alright." I went to his room and he was just sitting there upright in his bed with an angry look on his face in deep thought. I talked to him for awhile and said, "Remember the nights when your mom and I would talk all night on the phone?" I know he remembered those times, because his mother had him talk to me whenever he was being bad. Every once in awhile he'd get a spanking for something he did, and I would talk to him about it later on the phone. He would try to talk to me through his deep sobbing. The first time he did this, his mother told me how he doesn't cry when she spanks him anymore and she's never seen him cry like that when talking to anyone else. She said, "He must really like you and feel like he can talk to you." It made me feel good that I had become someone important in this boy's life. Anyway, I reminded him about my late-night phone calls with his mom, and I said, "Tonight was like the same thing, except we weren't on the phone, we were just sitting in the dark and talking." I could tell that he was still upset, and I figured it out. He was upset because he thought that I became his friend as a way to get to his mom. I told him, "No, it's just like you said -- I was your friend first." I told him that I didn't think I was going to be as close to his mom as she and I had now become. I told him that I loved him, and reminded him of all the things we did together and shared with each other. I told him that I wouldn't break his trust. He seemed to relax and went to sleep. CONTINUE TO PART 6 |
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