No jokes here
Submitted by Comfort on October 03 2000 16:23:00
In reply to The old jokes are always the best submitted by Forgiven on October 03 2000 14:57:15
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From the defensiveness of your response, I would almost aplogize for having offended you, until I reread my post and see that it offers a message of hope. I write from personal experience. I have been struggling with sexual attraction to boys for the better part of 15 years now. And lest you misunderstand my post, I was not saying that 'magic faith' will cure you immediately and you will never suffer that attraction again. Having been there and done that, I know from experience that that is misleading. However, in the past three months, I have experienced great healing and freedom in this area. I became accountable to my pastors and their wives. I told them of my attraction to their sons. I was afraid of rejection. They handled the situation in the Spirit of Christ, and have shown me forgiveness, support, love and mature spirituality, which includes accountability for my actions. I think you clearly misunderstood what I wrote. I stated, "We may have a desire, but we certainly must control [what we do as a result]." It is not a magic, cure-in-a-moment. And that is why it is often rejected by so many who would rather not put any effort into doing what is right in the eyes of God. No, I wrote from the perspective of one who back in July was contemplating suicide because I was so ashamed of my attractions. I was miserable. But the Lord Jesus Christ in his grace showed me such patience, love and compassion. Through godly pastors and counselors, as well as through personal prayer, he has lovingly shown me, "Here is where you went wrong, here is what needs to change." This is not a game of how to avoid blame or responsibility - it is a situation in which, if we will sincerely repent before God for the sin of our 'fleshly lust' and submit ourselves in humility to the will of God (and being willing to change behavior, reading material, hangouts, friends and whatever else is necessary as led by God and godly men), then God will be able to accomplish his purpose in us - healing and restoration. What grieves me is those who are unwilling to change, and out of a selfish desire to do what will gratify their sensual longing, will justify themselves. Can't we be honest with ourselves? A message of hope is attacked because it threatens the comfortable justification we have arrived at to pacify our conscience over our sinful behavior. I thank God for those pastors in my life who in the past three months said some things that you might describe as condemning - in fact, they saved my life, and stirred me from my complacency. One clearly told me that acting out on sexual desire for boys, be it through pornography or what have you, was clearly sin and hated by God. And the most sobering thought was from a pastor I love dearly, who had the kindness and clarity to tell me, "You could lose heaven over this" if I continued, as I had, to willfully and without repentance indulge myself in encouraging sinful sexual thoughts about boys through pronography and fantasy. Feeding temptation is clearly wrong (and I am not saying that everyone here in this forum is in sin simply because they have ever had such thoughts - but if you did as I and fed them and acted on them, that is sin). What does God tell us? James 1:14-16: "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren." Let me reiterate this - do not be deceived brothers. Do not fool yourselves. If you are carried away by your own lust [for boys], that lust will conceive, and you will end up sinning, and then if you keep sinning in that way, you will die [spiritually]. These are very sobering Scriptures! Do we love the Lord? Do we want to serve him? Do we want to do what is right? Or do we want to serve ourselves and do only what we want? So I will repeat the truth, despite what those whom Jude describes may say in defense of immorality. ("...some godless people have wormed their way in among you, saying that God's forgiveness allows us to live immoral lives..." Jude 1:4). Let us read such scriptures soberly, and try to discern what they are really saying. Pray about them, ask God to speak to you and show you what his desires are concerning this issue. God is a God of hope! He does not condemn those who have sexual desire for boys to eternal damnation, unless they adamantly refuse to repent of their sins and receive the forgiveness of Christ. If they will humbly admit that their desires for boys are immoral and wrong, and ask God to forgive them, he will. And for those who are willing to do the 'extra work' of guarding their hearts against 'inordinate affection' for boys by listening to the Holy Spirit and avoiding anything that will feed those affections, there is even healing. I have noticed tremendous changes in my own thoughtlife after rigorously going after this. I am not perfect; I still have sinful thoughts about boys, but far fewer, and they do not cause me shame and condemnation anymore - I simply confess the sin, receive the forgiveness of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and endeavor to avoid that which brought about the temptation in the future. I discuss those situations with my pastors, and together we work on solutions. God's grace is wonderful. Don't cop out. Go for it with all you have! |
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