Because people live by fear
Submitted by Forgiven on October 15 2000 03:43:21
In reply to Why can't we give love one more chance? submitted by F.O.D. on October 13 2000 10:45:30
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People react to the presence of risk in any situation by trying to do what they can to reduce it - insofar as it doesn't cramp their lifestyle - without actually thinking through the logic of what they are suggesting. Thus the fear of crime causes people to avoid walking the streets, to buy burgular alarms and call for longer sentences for criminals, despite the fact that this often means that the criminal becomes a career criminal instead of being given space to get his act together. In the case of the present dysfunctional modern family, the expectation of society is that the two parents, or even one, are capable, on their own, of providing all the care and nurture that the children need except what is provided through schooling. In reality of course this is not possible - the parents need substantial outside support and historically this was provided by the extended family, or by the domestic help. At their best, (unsexualised) BL relationships provide a part of the support that families need. At their worst, sexualised BL relationships traumatise the participants and the family. Because of the fear of the latter, the possibility of the former is lost, to the detriment of all. The other element is that the paedophile is of course the modern witch - the object of hate on whom all the otherwise delegitimised hate in the hearts of people is dumped. (Compare the emotional outpouring at the death of Princess Diana, when people found an expression for their sense of loss actually of other things). In the light of these realities, the hope that the BL community in general will come in from the cold in the foreseeable future is largely futile. The best that will be achieved is the development of patterns of coping in local churches that will enable some of us to fulfill our potential in ways that give a degree of effective accountability that reduces the risks in the situation. This appears to have been achieved in one example we know of on this board - I'll let him volunteer his identity as I'm not SURE it is public knowledge. But on the whole for the rest of us the reality is that we have the choice of being undeclared or rejected from the prospect of achieving the most that we could. Something to do with the Fall?! |
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