Just Came By To Say Hi

Hello all, I just dropped by to say "hello". I am truly sorry that I do not really have to time to come by on a regular basis. I certainly value this site and the support that it provides. I have been knee deep in ministry work (which is a good thing), as well as regular work, coaching youth sports and the rest of life. I have been heavily recruited to work in our children's ministry on a part time basis, no surprise given my background working with kids and the unique talent for reaching young boys that so many BLs have. I enjoy it immensely, and I have recognized the fact that I far prefer the love and affection of real boys in my life, over the fleeting images of boywatching which has so pervaded my lifestyle. I am very fortunate to be part of a church which truly believes in living Christianity. As we are commanded to love one another, children and adults alike are encouraged to be part of each other's lives, to be affectionate and to care for one another. I have been amazed at how naturally boys in my church (and girls), who are living in an otherwise cold American society, take to the levels of affection that Jesus would have wanted. Hugs from even the 'coolest' of boys are pretty much commonplace. Anyway, for the first time in my life I have a real girlfriend. I am very fortunate: She is beautiful and spiritual and she is a single mom, which has made it very easy for me to focus on the relationship because there is a child in the mix to draw my attention when I am losing focus. It is not going to be easy for me to truly submit to God in this relationship, but I am trying, and praying, sometimes even fasting. Only God knows if this relationship will work but I want to do his will. I still do struggle with masterbation and fantasy about boys, on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes I wonder how this can EVER go away, but I just go back to Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." For those who have been in AA (which I have not) you might remember the serenity prayer. If you haven't been in AA, it is a prayer worth knowing: "Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Kinda fits BL doesn't it? Love in Christ to all, Your brother, Ben