I understand Tempest...
Submitted by Comfort on October 19 2000 17:37:02
In reply to Ok comfort..... submitted by Tempest on October 19 2000 15:29:23
|
Tempest, Believe me man, I hear you. It was the same for me - sexual desire for boys didn't arise in my thought life until after I became a Christian. I understand your frustration - been there. Wrestled with it. I want to be encouraging, but also truthful. I wrestled seven years. Praying praying praying. Rebuking thoughts. Casting down imaginations. Not watching TV. Not reading newspapers. Confessing, repenting, asking forgiveness, falling, getting up, starting over. Crying, pleading. Feeling sooooo attracted to certain boys, heart melting when they sho interest in me. AAAH! Rebuke it again, ask forgiveness. Finally I had had enough. Like I said, I laid it all on the line with several trusted Christian pastors and counselors. We all prayed. Fought together. Three months later - victory! I tell you, I suffered, I cried, I battled with thoughts of hopelessness and not knowing what a 'normal' attraction to a girl would feel like. HAting myself because I couldn't feel normal like the rest of the guys. But Tempest my friend, God's love is greater! He was with me through thick and thin - there were some lessons I had to learn about disciplined thoughts - about being honest with God and others about my sinful imaginations - about being faithful in worship and prayer. And in the end, it was nothing I 'did', it was what I was able to receive - God wanted to do it by His power all along. God loves you so much Tempest; he knows your struggle - he knows how much it hurts, and he wants to take that hurt away. It felt so good for me to share my 'great big deep dark secret' with someone who showed they cared. It helped me to feel for sure how much God really cared. I will be praying for you Tempest.Keep believing. Stay strong. You can make it. You can. If you ever fall, get right back up! LEt God dust you off, and lean hard into him! He is so full of grace and lovingkindness. And hold onto 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. I prayed that daily for a while, "And such WERE some of you, BUT you were washed, BUT you were sanctified, BUT you were justified in the name of the Lord JEsus Christ and by the SPirit of our God." And Paul was talking about homosexuals, men and young boys who had sex together. These people used to be like that, but God changed them. He did it for them, he can certainly do it for you! Look to JEsus! Comfort |
Follow ups: