Three different bits, which is most important,,,
Submitted by Harry on October 22 2000 23:13:42
In reply to why? submitted by fallen on October 20 2000 23:33:56
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Dear Fallen, I have sat at my monitor and wondered what to write, if to write at all. Clearly I decided to respond. I think it is the integrity of you text. You are very honest and speak of what I see as three important bits in your situation. The view you have of God clearly is being re-evaluated. The old view of God is showing cracks around the edges. God is in no danger of falling apart, but your view of him is! The idea that God is some super game player does not stand-up to the realities of concentrations camps (death camps of the second world war), nuclear arms, and for us the reality of sexual identities that don't conform to the very small box provided by the view that everyone is heterosexual, no sex outside marriage. It seems to be the face of God you end up with will be infact better than the one you had because it will be more honest and in a sense more real. If you are into reading short texts about just the kind of search you are going through I suggest a book by a man who was killed by the Nazis. His name is Detrick Bonhieffer. I am not sure of the spelling of his name because my old library is gone but I remember the book. It was called "Letters From Prison." He wrote from his prison cell and he questioned the type of God he had and the kind of God he could keep in the face of what was happening both to himself and to others around him. What is significant is that he kept his belief in God I think because the face of his God changed. The second bit you talk of, again very important, is the real value you have in a good friend. I hope you can keep that friendship, although I have had to allow some friends to move away. My feelings for boys is a burden they can't carry and I don't feel right in forcing it on them. Lastly you speak of your wish to be honest with yourself. Again I am convinced the path you are taking is the right one because it involves speaking simply and truthfully both to yourself and what lies outside yourself - God and others. What can be tricky is not only deciding what is mose important to us - our inner self, our view of God or our friendships and relations with others, but also the order in which we want to tackle these areas - which one to work on first. Do keep writng. I sense others are reading what you write and are interested in what you are saying. Kindest regards, Harry |
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