Feeling like you're trapped
Submitted by Huck Finn on November 25 2000 11:31:07
In reply to boylove submitted by trapped on November 24 2000 20:56:48
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I know all to well how it feels to be trapped. I'm trying to live a "normal" life. IF that's what you want to call it. I seek relationships with boys. Yes. Of course. Because I love spending time with them. I love sharing my faith with them. I Love teaching them. I Love sharing the love of music with them. But sometimes I find myself as you say, infatuated with them. It's enough to say, "Wait a second, what's going on." Because it seems to spring on you at any given second and after everythings said and done you think, "What just happened." I describe it as this: I see a boy and want to become friends with him. Perhaps we do get to spend time with each other. WE do become good friends. And with the innocent and ego-centric characteristics of a little boy (whether he be 4 or 14) he sees me as a person who means the whole world to him. And of course he becomes the whole world to me! Perhaps we have some feelings that we can only attribute to love... or even sometiems lust. But I do feel as though I love the boy. Thus, making me a "boylover." Whatever that means. I don't always like that terminology. But whatever. But I've learned to live with it. By focusing on the relationship and not the nakedness-- whether it be of that child or porn-- I find myself fulfilled and happy. When I befriend my younger friends, I find myself enjoying life. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with the little guys. What's wrong is when you hurt them. And to discuss what hurts a child and what not shall be saved for another board at another time. (RDC) God bless you man. Feel free to click on my name above and email. I'm always willing to my experiences and listen to someone who's hurting. Huck Finn |
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