Re: You're doing great -- OFFEND US!
Submitted by GCFboi on December 06 2000 23:04:03
In reply to You're doing great -- OFFEND US! submitted by Bach on December 06 2000 05:46:17
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I am trying to apply what I have learned in my therapy, and share it here. My recovery process was not just about getting over being obsessed with sex, it was also about recovering from my fundamentalist upbringing. It became clear to me, at a certain point, that the anti-sex attitudes of my religious tradition, were PREVENTING me from overcoming the addiction, rather than helping. The thing that is so unintuitive about human sexuality, is that the more you try to repress it, the more powerful it becomes; but the more you just accept it and let go of the shame and fear and guilt over things that are natural and normal, the easier it is to control sexual urges. The only thing people should be feeling ashamed about, is when they hurt someone else (or themselves). But I really think everyone (not just BLers, but everyone) has got to stop beating themselves up for having natural sexual instincts. That's just part of being encased in a body of flesh and blood. Animals have natural instincts too, and so do humans, and these are wired into the brain and body, through hormones and such, and you can't do much about that, except to channel them wisely when they happen. (Unless you want to resort to inhumane, torturous methods like "chemical castration"). Wisdom and healthy, balanced self-control are the real issues. The serenity prayer works great for this, just like anything else: God, grant me the serentiy to accept the things I cannot change [like my sexual orientation], the courage to change the things I can [my behaviors, if need be], and the widsom to know the difference. Knowing the difference is a great source of peace and happiness. |
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