feeling guilty
Submitted by Derek on December 13 2000 01:34:27
In reply to A friend's dilema - a question for everyone? submitted by Once a Boy on December 12 2000 21:55:01
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I agree with Sprite on at least one point: leaving may have caused more damage than what he did when he was around the boy. In either case, tho, something your friend did may have contributed to the situation. In fact, I'd say undoubtedly it did. Every event in a person's life has some effect on their development. Should your friend feel guilty or responsible? No. It's in the past, there's nothing to be done about it now. And there's no way he could have known, realistically, at the time. It might be good for him to consider acting on the current situation tho. A letter might be nice. depending on things... maybe an apology for leaving. Maybe an "I love you" or "I care about you" or "you're wonderful". Or even just "I was thinking about you". I don't know what the situation is, but I would say almost without exception that talking is better than not talking, assuming you can say the right things. :) I also think that *if* the 11yo was traumatized in some way, that it would definitely be helpful for him to understand more about what happened, from a different perspective than his own. "I didn't leave because of you" might be just what he needs to hear. But really, I don't know. Sorry. -- Derek |
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