Sorrow is better than laughter...
Submitted by Huck Finn on January 05 2001 13:45:02
In reply to My Heart is broken... submitted by Eureka on January 04 2001 18:35:44
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Because a sad face is good for the heart! Ecc. 7:3 I know what you mean... But like you showed me, I will show you God's word! yesterday at night when I was reading my bible, I came across a WONDERFUL passage. Perhaps you've read it many times. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. It preceeds the "Love is patient, Love is kind" passage. "If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth, but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything, but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I would speak to a mountain and make it move, without love, I would be no good to anybody. If I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever." After that, I decided to look at my life. The friends I have. The people I Love. Family, friends (peers, YFs, and older friends), teachers. And I analized all of my "love" for others. I am a boy lover right? Whatever that means. So, that means I love boys. Is this love Godly? We all have to take a bit of time to look into our own motives. Do we love boys to fulfil our flesh? Do we love boys to show them love? Do we love them to show them the love of Christ? How do we show them love? I know one boy I show my love by cuddling with him. We cuddle and sit with each other and it's a feeling I get with no other. There's another boy who I want to be like that with, yet I don't. Why? I don't know. I have a very pal like relationship with him. We love to do stuff with each other. I've given him messages and stuff like that. But our main relationship is that of just having fun. And then there's another boy (I've mentioned him earlier this week.) Mark. He and I have a relationship that is totally God pleasing. Even though he's a very handsom and completely my "type," my sexual feelings for him are not there. Not that I don't think he's cute and this and that. But to touch him like I do the other boys, I have no desire. I long to talk with him. To hear how he's doing spiritually. To hear about his relaitonship with God. To hear what he read in the bible lately. To hear how God's used him. I love remembering back to when we were working on bible verses. He worked his butt off for over 4 hours and still couldn't get these few verses memorized perfectly. And he told me his goal for that week at camp was to get the bible verses memorized. And this was his last section. And he almost had it... but it wasn't perfect and I wanted to push him. I wanted him to have it PERFECTLY! And as soon as the 4th hour hit, he was so discouraged. He called himself stupid and He said I hate this. But I got him calmed down. After he called himself stupid, my heart just broke! ANd I yelled at him. "You are NOT stupid! You are very smart. No one has worked as hard at anything this week! You have worked very hard. And you want to do this for God! I have NEVER met someone who cares more for others than you do! I have NEVER met anyone who loves others like you! You can do this!" So he tried again and again and still couldn't get it just right. So I told him to pretend he was talking to the Corinthians. I told him to pretend he were Peter or Paul talking to the early Church. These words are directly from God. And it's YOUR job to tell the people! And he tired it... and tried... and finally, He GOT IT! He FINALLY GOT the last verse! PRAISE GOD! Mark and I spent 3 hours after that just talking. Talking about how God used us. And how he's changed our lives. I remember sitting there in an embrace, both of us crying listening to Lean On Me by Kirk Franklin. We hugged for the majority of this 6 minute song. And we just thanked the Lord for the time he gave us. THAT is love! Working with someone when things seem somewhat hopeless or pointless. Working with someone till they get their goal accomplished. Praying with them. Sharing your life and heart with them. THAT IS love and NOT boy worship. Because you can't have two masters. And let me tell you, worship God WITH a boy is so amazing! So much more amazing than worshiping the boy. Happy Pondering. Huck |
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