Re: hope vs. acceptance
Submitted by GCFboi on January 05 2001 14:01:30
In reply to hope vs. acceptance submitted by Quidditch on January 04 2001 14:10:22
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This is meant to be a response to all of the messages in this thread. I really like the idea that you never really know what the future may hold, that anything is possible, and that the most important thing is to accept the love you have now as a gift! Even if all you have is God's love, that is a lot to be thankful for! One of the hard lessons that I have had to learn, is that God sometimes gives us loneliness for a reason. I can't tell you what the reason is for anyone else, but for me, it was to make me aware of my own sin. It was not until I was so lonely that I felt that I could not go on, that I realized that I was a sex addict, and that I was guilty of lust and idolatry. It was my aching loneliness that drove me to the point of turning back to God and getting into recovery. I am not trying to say that Quidditch or anyone else is feeling lonely because of sin. Hardly. But my point is that, perhaps there is some kind of a message from God in it. Even if the message is just, "Be still and know that I am God". That can be really hard to hear, when you want God to act and he doesn't, but God does sometimes say it. As for miracles, God can do them, but they are really God's choice. I don't think any human can "force" God into doing anything. It is hard to accept that God does not just make the world a just and righteous place for everyone overnight. Sometimes I find myself praying "Maranatha!" so many times, that I can't believe that Jesus still hasn't returned!! As if he can't tell how much I want him to! But somehow God has a plan that is better than what we can come up with. It is not God's fault that there is hatred and prejudice and loneliness in the world. It is not God's fault that BLers are a persecuted minority, or that it is often not socially acceptable for adults to have relationships with boys. But I must confess that I do get angry with God sometimes that he does not come down and do something about it all right now! I can be very impatient sometimes. This is one of the character flaws that I am asking him to help me with. Love is good, but there isn't necessarily just one right way to do it. As someone who has had an obsessive focus in the past on trying to find "romantic" love (through sex, definitely the WRONG method), I find that I still have to work on a daily basis to remember that, as a Christian, I am free to give and receive God's love with everyone that I know, and that I shouldn't let myself get stuck into thinking that romance and attraction are what real love is all about. Friendship CAN be just as fulfilling as romance, if looked at from the right point of view. I sometimes forget that, but it is a truth that I am trying to learn to understand better. Spiritually, all people are equal and lovable, from God's point of view, and anyone that you know can be a potential source of strength to end your loneliness. I am trying to learn how to think more like God, and less like a selfish human being! I still find the temptations of lust and idolatry that I used to struggle with to be with me, although by God's grace I no longer give in to them so much, and I have learned to practice abstinence. I am really encouraged when I read many of the stories on this board, that it does seem possible to get to a point where lust is no longer a major problem. I feel as though I am still working towards that goal. I have not arrived! I am much less tempted by it than I used to be, but I am still facing those temptations more often than I would like. They seem to come and go. Sometimes I can go for weeks without having any lustful thoughts, and then, wham, it suddenly comes back. At least I know much better how to deal with this than I used to. But for as much progress as I have made, I feel like there is a long way to go. I just wanted to let everyone know how much it means to me to hear that there are people out there who have managed to find happiness and love to be things that can be stable over a lifetime, because it gives me hope for the future. You are very blessed! But of course God is always there loving us, no matter what. It's such a shame that I forget that sometimes. (Idolatry can be a very tempting sin. Let's all keep praying for each other!) |
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