i was in his place once
Submitted by Splash! on January 15 2001 23:49:36
In reply to female loves a boylover submitted by ILMPR on January 13 2001 20:35:39
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I am a boylover who is attracted to women, but I continue to find boys more "compelling" and attractive, in most cases. Boylovers who have sexual relations with women will often stimulate themselves with images of boys in their minds in the same way a totally straight heterosexual man might stimulate himself with images of other women in his mind. I'd hope that in most cases (if not all) your boyfriend would be able to be stimulated solely by who you are (without the extra-images). But, as for myself, there were times that my girlfriend expected some type of action out of me and the only way I could do that would be to picture pretty boys (and I'm not talking about me imagining that I'm having sex with the boys either; though, it may be the case with others). Believe me when I say that I felt very guilty doing this -- like I was betraying her, but I would have rather done it that way than not be able to perform at all. She was very beautiful, and I did love her, but there were times I needed that extra-stimulation. That probably goes with being a boylover. It's something I've been trying to change about myself. I don't think I should be sexually stimulated by the images of boys, but it does happen. Your boyfriend, if he's like me, probably feels guilty for having the same feelings. Or he may be having very healthy thoughts about boys, also. Who knows what's really going on in his heart and mind? Anyway, the main thing for you to do is to try to get some communication going between you and him, even if it indirectly touches on his feelings toward boys in some way. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to have a friend who is understanding about this part of himself. But also know that it will be difficult for you as his girlfriend. There'll always be a battle for you in his mind. If he's like me, you will be competing against the boylover thoughts in his mind. And this is something you'll need to work on together. It might not be easy, and you may often feel rejected by him, but if you stand by his side and show him you love him, I don't see how you can go wrong -- he'll love you forever! ~Splash* |
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