Fascinating...
Submitted by Sprite on January 23 2001 04:21:51
In reply to Re: You are an idiot. submitted by Jordan on January 23 2001 01:21:28
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"Sorry mate, this is a little long, I think I may need to do a course on editting LOL! By the way, "Sensitivity & shyness are hardly homosexual tendencies" I never said they were!" Take a look: "...may make a person more likely to develop homosexual tendencies eg: sensitivity, shyness ...." Are these not your words? ""If you think God is a twisted psycho, who likes torturing people .." I never said I did!" If you believe as many do that God allows us be gay, then says we can not act on our homosexual desires, for it is sinful - Then that is torture... Was it written that I should be one way or the other, do you think? I have an eye for aesthetics, I'm very creative, and I can be quite sensitive... Such things were inherited... I never said homosexuality was directly inherited. I shall not discuss my father, except to say that we were never very close... But his acting differently would not have changed my behavior... My mother and I were always fairly close, but she could not really be described as a feminine influence on me... My earliest friend was a girl... And at first I did know very many boys... But after starting school, I had a number of male friends, and only one more very close female friend... I can clearly remember having some early fantasies... Say at 5 or 6 years old, about men... Interesting that now I don't find men all that attractive... But I do find boys attractive... I never felt 'right' about being very 'touchy-feely' with my parents... Even without anything sexual, it seems distasteful in the same way incest is... My sexual urges started at about five... And I've been mostly interested in girls all through school... My first and only "experiment with homosexual activity", as well as my only sexual activity thus far, was at eight, with a twelve year old friend... But he didn't 'take advantage of me'... He offered an exchange of blow jobs... But, I declined... The thought 'I'm gay' never crossed my mind, in fact. The feelings were there, and I just accepted them... I never sought help... That's not me... I didn't know till last year that my mother thought homosexuality was sinful... My father knew she believed that... I suspect he does not believe in God, but I don't really want to know for sure... I doubt he would react badly if I told him I was gay... He may already suspect it... My mother said that she would be disappointed, but she would still love me... She's gotten better in recent years... At one point she apparently felt that masturbating in her house was disrespectful to her... Later, when they found that I had been reading erotica on nifty, she seemed to be giving me an 'it's not okay to be gay' attitude, and she bought a playboy calendar for me... Which was good, because I like naked women! ;-) "...significantly less severe taboo pertaining to promiscuity." For me, there is no real taboo on homosexual activity... But my belief is different in relation to promiscuity... To give oneself freely, without love, is hollow, empty... And sinful. I'm still grounded in local culture on some things... If they fuck with ya, kill 'em! >=) If you replace homo with hetero, and add drugs, booze, etc. on to the sex, with probably fewer partners, then your talkin' about all the fucked-up rednecks around here... =) I was always different, always an outsider... I developed crushes on girls, not boys... I don't know that I've ever fallen in love... The closest I came was with a girl, though... I've had lots of interest in the opposite sex... But just about all I can think about them are lustful thoughts, it's their flesh I want... Not their minds, or their hearts... Sex with females would no doubt feel more right than sex with males... But sex is hardly all I'm after in a relationship... If that was what I wanted, I would find the first willing female right now... The path I walk is my own. It will change its course many times in my life. I expect it will, ultimately, be fulfilling... Harmful 'escapes', such as drugs or sex have never appealed to me... The escape I look to is my imagination... I'm writing a book... And, after careful consideration, I believe I will include at least a few gay characters... What if the person of your heart happens to be a man? That was very long... Very in-depth... You did a very good job... You may have described a few problems of mine... And possibly a number of problems a friend of mine has had... You did very good with yourself... If this is an account of your life, then you were right to do as you have. But, it is not a reflection of the path before me... Your vision of casting aside homosexuality is right for many... But, my vision of embracing a member of one's own sex may be the correct path for a few... Sprite. |
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