Turning onto a Dead End road.
Submitted by Forgotten on February 19 2001 11:41:38
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I found myself at the ages of 16 and 17 giving into my desires. Details of this are important but may not be allowed on this forum so if you want to hear about it let me know how to reach you. I had been with three boys, all age 8. I felt confused, angry, and alone after I had done it. What did I get out of that? Why do I keep doing it? In the summer of 97 at the age of 17, my mother made me join a summer camp to watch the kids. I did not want to but she said "Your not going to sit around all summer." Damn don't they know that's what summer is for? Well, I went and I hated it...after what had happened with the other kids, I hated them. Why would I want to be around them ever again? On one of the days that I was being my usual self, and sitting under the same tree as always, one of the kids (a boy) came up and asked me when pool time was starting. I mean come on...like I care. I told him when we say so, and to go play. Of course he did not and countinued day after day to come up and talk to me, and no matter how much I wanted him to leave he never would. Funny thing happened though...I began to listen to him, and found he actually has some intelligent things to say. Were kids actually this smart? I mean there is an actual little person in there. Soon he was sitting in my lap and hanging on my back, he would wear my baseball cap, and even some of the crafts he made he gave to me. I actually looked forward to going just because I knew he would be there. To be honest this kid was like one of my best friends, little I know...but still. Right before the camp ended we went to see my dad, well those two weeks that I was going to be gone where the last of the camp. (M) (the boy)was not happy at all about that. And to honest I was sad as well, I mean I had alot of fun and the only reason is because he came along. I told him I would call. Lucky for me we came back early from my dad's house. I found the morning I returned to the camp that (M) had not arrived yet, so I sat and waited under my usual tree. When I saw the shear look of happiness on (M) face, I knew that I wish this kid was my brother. I had always wanted one, and he was just a cool little kid. Camp finally did end and I found myself calling every other month as promised and actually missed his company. I mean I had friends at school and at work, but I still wished it was summer again. Well, kids forget and eventually I knew (M) would, and the last time I called I had to remind him who I was...that's when I knew it was time to let it go. (M)'s dad grabs up the phone before I can hang up, and says that I should come see the boys and meet him and his wife. Meet you!? Um...Uh...well I don't know. So I did and again...(M) face lit up when he saw me...though I don't know why I cared so much...but I did, and he actually ran up and gave me a hug. I was surprised, but it made the moment that much better. God Bless Forgotten |
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