Reactions
Submitted by GiveLove on February 26 2001 03:47:11
In reply to Welcome aboard submitted by Forgiven on February 25 2001 18:44:56
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thanks for your reply, forgiven ! About how my friends are coping it: Of course noone really knows how to handle with it. One didn't even know this kind of attraction existed. But the most important thing they showed me is that they are still and especially there for me. If I have problems with it, If I want to talk about it. And of course they're keeping it private. They know it's a subtle topic and it's not good to talk about it in public. You know, I was once all alone with my feelings for boys and it did cost me so much to keep it that way. I really evolved into a "good actor", which means I'm perfect in hiding my feelings. And so noone ever realized them. But, man, this makes you feel so alone. If noone knows your problem, noone can help you, you draw back in your room, let noone come too close to you...you could be surrounded by people and at the same time be lonely as hell. And when I realized god was the one who can help me, I turned to him and told him everything that's within me. After that I also had the urge to tell other people about it. Don't know why exactly. For years I had imagined how this "coming out" would be and how others would react. I was so afraid, it's hard to believe...or, at least for some of you it's maybe common. So I did the step, and although I still am what I am, I know have people who know and share what I feel, people I know for months, one even for years, good friends who showed their loyalty and their will to stand with me. Although it was so hard and still is, I want to share it with more people. I have many loyal friends and I think they deserve knowing me with all that I am. And if one shows out to be not that loyal...well, leave it to god ! Faith is the only thing that counts. Without faith I would never have been able to tell others I'm a BL, without faith and trust I would never have found the way back to society, to friends and to the way god wants me. And I would never have realized what true love is (for example take 1. Corinthians 13). My way would have been more and more destructive. Praise The Lord ! GiveLove |
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