Finny, I know how you feel, at times I have felt that way myself. However, after a lot of thought, I have come to the conclusion that god is not a fuck up (ie I am a mistake) and that he is not evil (ie he is getting his jollies by watching me in my predicament). No he must have had a purpose in creating me (and you) the way he did. then I look at a world full of boys who are starved for attention and love, and the answer becomes obvious. God has sort of a calling for us, but there is a price to be paid for following that calling. the price is that sex will be a solo act. You can't have the sex part, but you can have all the other parts of love, the friendship, the mentoring, the companionship, the smiles, the laughs, the tears, the fears, the joys. You can help a boy grow up to be a good man, to make the most of his potential. You can be his second father and guide him on his path. Don't snap, find a way to channel the love in you as a force for good. |