I'm simply conflicted.
Submitted by Finny12 on March 13 2001 09:19:37
In reply to There are no easy answers; submitted by Forgiven on March 13 2001 02:57:47
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Both of you are probably right regarding the Lord putting us here to love his boys. I honestly try to believe that, but then why do I feel so guilty and ashamed of who I am? I look at a boy and immediately find the boy within. I think I, like most BLs, have a gift that way. We have a deeper insight into what boys actually need -- love and attention. But people hate us. I have so much love to give, but giving it would raise some eyes and create questions. People around me have a pretty good idea who I really am, but as long as it's not confirmed they will stay my friend. As soon as they find out for sure my world will come crumbling down -- granted I can't fall very far. The boy I love now is turning 14 soon. I know that for the three years we've been together I've made a contribution in his life and I've received the satisfaction of helping a boy. But then I question... what's the whole point of us loving boys anways? I can't answer that question. I don't think the religious people in my community would understand me. God might, but people here never will. - Finny |
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