hi ben
Submitted by F.O.D. on June 25 2001 09:36:56
In reply to Hello submitted by Ben on June 23 2001 19:55:46
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Nice to see you again. Wish you'd hang out with us more :) I fantasise a lot about my young friend. I dream about him finally coming of age, and being able to make a mature decision where he decides he does want me to be his boyfriend. This relates to lust in the sense that I like to tell myself that because it's only about him I'm thinking, not generally other boys, then that speaks of a degree of faithfulness, so it's not as bad a problem of lust as it could be. That may well be the case, but sometimes I think I should ask, would he really appreciate me having desire for him even in this way? I think maybe he would be somewhat sympathetic, he wouldn't take his friendship away, but still. How does it help him in his future relationship with his wife, if he'll eventually take one? I don't know. I'm not one for answers in these matters. I find it frustrating not being able to talk freely with church friends about my fears and joys and concerns. I'm trying to find ways to be able to talk to them about gay things, but it's slow going. My church is nominally suppportive of gays, but the small overtures I've made in talking about it have made me feel the need to be cautious. It makes me feel isolated. Actually, my pastor had a good phrase for it: "disenfranchised". Well, I'll remember you in my prayers. Fod |
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