Awesome worship (multiple BM)
Submitted by Nate on July 22 2001 17:05:42
In reply to It’s getting hard to breath. (intro, long, X BC) submitted by Nate on July 21 2001 06:20:28
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After weeks (years?) of self-loathing and deepening depression, I finally posted my story on BC, several days ago. That intro starts this thread. I found CBF day before yesterday. The sense of release that confession brings, the words of encouragement and acceptance, have been incredible. Thank you all for being here. This morning in worship I knew that I was walking in the Light, and I could feel the freedom that it brings. I was dancing and crying before the Lord, thankful for His guidance and grace. Our fellowship has always been free in worship, but few people dance anymore – a concern for appearances has crept in the last few years. But I have nothing left to lose. If you have read my intro you know why. Anyway, as I glanced up occasionally, I became aware that people were watching me. But it was not the adults – it was the boys! From both sides of the room, the young boys and teen boys kept looking my way. It was not with looks of curiosity or amusement, but – can I say it? - with longing! As though they wanted to come and dance with me before the Lord. I thought, “This is really weird, Lord. What are you showing me?” Then he reminded me of an incident last night. As I arrived – late – to my small group meeting, all of the kids jumped up and met me at the door, wrapping me up in hugs so that I could not even get in the door. The five year old got me around the knees, his 7 year old brother wrapped his arms tight around my waist, and the tall 9 year old tried to jump on my back. I caught him around the waist as he went by and pulled him into a side hug as he slid off my shoulder, but he rolled around until his face was in my neck and let his body melt into mine. What is strange is that these kids barely know me. I have been excluded from having anything to do with them. The group leader seemed a little irritated, “Come in and take a seat.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t move without stepping on somebody’s toes.” His wife kept remarking throughout the night, “Those kids sure do love Nate.” Then it occurred to me, the Lord is ministering to me through his little angels on Earth! Though the adults in my fellowship have ostracized me and hardened their hearts against me, God is showing his compassion to me through the very ones that have been taken from me. Then I started to really cry. There’s been a lot of that this week. Part II An announcement was made. “The youth are going to do a skit. It is very graphic, please remove your young children under the age of five.” This is very unusual; we have done very little drama. The lights went out. In a moment, a heavy techno beat began and beautiful youth whose white shirts, white gloves and neon colored wire-frame wings glowed under black light appeared in all parts of the room, moving in unison. At the front appeared a modern-day couple, holding a live baby. Strange characters floated in carrying odd gifts that glowed in the strange light, and presented them to the baby. Then it was dark. When the house lights came up, a beautiful young man, about 19, with long blond hair walked confidently out into the crowd and began calling to some, “Come. Follow Me,” and they followed. He healed some, cast out demons in some, and they all followed him. But meanwhile, a drug deal was going on in the back of the stage. No, not a drug deal, but a briefcase full of money was exchanged. Its recipient approached the Healer and kissed him on the cheek. Immediately, they grabbed him and began hitting him. Four strong boys took him and violently shoved him down the aisle toward where I was sitting. He fell to his knees almost at my feet. I really thought I was going to have to catch somebody as they all came down hard. Then, as “Jesus” looked up at me with compassion in his eyes, they stripped the shirt off of him, tearing it in pieces, and continued to beat him as they hauled him back to the front and “nailed” him to a full-size wooden cross, lifting him up and dropping the cross into its support, with him screaming in agony all the while. Then they left him there, naked for all I could see, stretched out. And the angels came to him, and his followers returned, and they all wept. Lights out. Whoa. You guys are not going to believe a thing I say if I keep posting stuff like this, huh? Honest, real deal. I am still shook up. Nate |
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