Re: At the risk of being the only one
Submitted by Oliver on August 18 2001 23:28:17
In reply to Re: At the risk of being the only one submitted by JORDAN on August 18 2001 22:44:07
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What an interesting little thread. My gosh, Huck's been around a year and a half, and I think I count nearly three years CBLF has been an online support forum for us as Christains. I would have to say that yes, the internet fed me this issue that I didn't know was a controvercy before. I'd never really heard of pedophile until I found boylinks, and to my shock I was one of them. I'd just lost a 3 year relationship with probably my last girl friend, and I think Satan was showing me this as a temptation and lustful medium when I was down and more in need of being in prayer. I used to spend hours online instead of in God's arms, and it scared me and fed me at the same time. I felt like Adam who had eaten of the forbidden fruit and robbed of his innocence. Now, three years later, God has put sooo many boys into my life; I have developed a better accountability for who I am and even dared to meet several people, BL and non BL in person to discuss these feelings. I think of it as my thorn. Like Paul pleaded in II Cor., God's grace is sufficient, and that grace includes those boymoments when we need them, relationships He's prepared us for, other men who struggle similarly and need an understanding ear. How precious did that grace appear, in the words of Amazing Grace, when I realize that I could use who I was for God's glory and not just lustful temptation. Do I agree it is wrong to have these feelings? No; I cannot control how I feel. Do I think it's sinful...After seeing what God can do and use me in spite of who I am, I venture to say I have to agree with Mark on this one. So long as we control of our feelings, which means letting God's grace be our resolve, I believe we can be a part of God's work in the lives of the boys we come in contact with. Satan may have opened my eyes to the sinful nature of BL, but, in that, God also showed me a place to talk all that out; help others I could relate to, and fellowship in a place with brothers of faith. I learned the hunger of the internet is best placed when we let go and let God, and therein lies grace and glory, not lust and sin. Blessings, Oliver |
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