My Narrow Life Goes On...
Submitted by Altima on September 13 2001 14:12:09
In reply to Wow...beautiful submitted by Nate on September 13 2001 00:45:40
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Thanks for the compliments :) I always appreciate them. Tomorrow is a nationally declared Day of Mourning here in Ireland. Every business and school except for required services are closed. In a way the country will die for a day, but it doesn't bring closer those who are ignorant of the pain to the reality of the suffering. The first thing I heard going into school today was a cheerfull greeting from one student to another behind me. "Hear the horrible news? No school tomorrow! I've still got lots of beer left over!" My first class today was English, and I was now able to see reactions first hand of my essay, as my teacher read it to the class. One could cut the emotional tension with a butter knife. There were a couple comments. One person said "Wow that sounds a little too patriotic." The teacher then proceeded to explain to him that it could be expected with an attack on America, and that there was in fact a deep universal theme to it. The European Union has slowly made nationalism taboo it seems. People look down on me when I mention America culture... well, they used to. I remember there were too feelings that came accross when I arrived in school the day after the disaster. One was sympathy and concern, which is good. The other was a raw fear. American students do not have a good image when it comes to issues of violence. When I came in the feeling wafted through the air like an unpleasent aroma. The quiet American is definately screaming for revenge inside, and anything can push him over the limit. Anything. What they don't realise is that I've taken bigotry for three years now. I'm numb to it. Moving right along, I just auditioned for a part in the school's ambitious production of Twelve Angry Men. I had left a handwritten note with my essay to the English teacher how the New York disaster would affect audiance reaction to the play, it being set in New York, albiet 50 years ago. He said it really got him thinking. He thinks this disaster is now a reason more than ever to do the play right. The play is about bigotry. It's about justice and the foolishness of swift retribution. It is a moral guide to help us in our actions after this horrible event. I've been put first on the list of "People he will definately cast." Most likely, from what I've heard him and others say, I'll get the part Henry Fonda did in the movie version. I've just been to that doctor about a skin condition I've been having, Acne that won't go away, it's mild but it is not clearing up. I've been on a few medications for it and the doctor now said one of the only couses of action was a medicine that had been getting a lof of complaints because people felt depression after taking it. It's a hugely concentrated varient of vitamin A that is so powerful it's nearly toxic, he describes it as. After complaining about the side effect he then said "But it works VERY well for clearing up skin..." and I burst out laughing, much to the amusement of the doctor and my mother. I always had a thing for black humor. When asked if I was prone to depression I said no. Because I wanted to get it cleared up for good. It was a flat damn lie, but it doesn't matter t the moment, well it won't for a month at least. I've been put on a different medication and I'll take the depressive one if this medication doesn't work in a month. It got me thinking though, what would it be like to willingly inflict clinical depression on oneself? I usually write my best stuff when angry, sad, or half dead with fatigue at 3:00am. I'm not so stupid as to inflict it on me just for writing small essays that few people see, butit is interesting, no? |
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