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Submitted by Dusk on October 4 2001 22:45:12
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I'm sorry to be so long in responding to your replies. My Internet access is a bit erratic - I should have mentioned that in my original post. And the truth is, I didn't expect that a post from a non-pedophile asking for help would get more than one or two replies. What a pleasant surprise to see four! JohnQ wrote: "For me, I approach my sexual fantasies as if they were dreams." This is a great idea - it never occurred to me. I'm sure I'd learn a lot that way. My dreams often tell me a lot about myself. Jules wrote: "You haven't really said whether you feel guilty about your fantasies, only that they're disrupting your life." There's some guilt, yes, but I don't think that's what's driving my concern. If I were having fantasies of, say, doing charitable work for homeless people, and they were taking over my life the way these fantasies are, I think I'd still be concerned. So I don't think it has to do with guilt over sex (though I'm not immune to that!) but just concern over an activity that I can't control. It's like being an alcholic - I don't have to say that drinking is universally wrong to conclude that it's wrong for me. Forgiven wrote: "the only thing that I would definitely offer there is the need for something to absorb your energy in a more positive direction." Yes, that's something I'm trying to do. Unfortunately, the fantasies have become so strong that they're dragging me away from such activities. Chris wrote: "I have found that this simple prayer or meditation excersize is probably one of THE most powerful ways I have come to be able to keep my Father first in my life." You have no idea how terrific it is to hear from you and Forgiven about your own struggles in this area. I was beginning to head in the direction you guys suggest - of tackling the problem sideways through living a God-centered life - because a friend of mine who went through sexual recovery said that was the best way to handle it. But having you tell me what a concrete difference it made in your life is incredibly helpful. Of course, trying to live a God-centered life is its own struggle. :) I'm going to check out that book Forgiven mentioned (it sounds great), and if you guys have any further suggestions on how to keep God in mind throughout the day, I'd appreciate hearing them. I'm afraid that, while I can intellectually see ways in which I've been aided by God over the years, I don't have a strong emotional attachment to God, so I can't depend on my feelings to carry me the right way. Dusk |
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