Love the question!!
Submitted by Forgiven on October 8 2001 17:41:30
In reply to Being 'out' to parents and/or the boy submitted by Mark on October 8 2001 17:18:38
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As far as the YF is concerned, I think it depends on the age and maturity of the boy. My situation is one extreme - at 20 my YF barely counts as such, and so I have no doubt that it isn't a problem but rather makes for a far far more real relationship with him. However the younger the boy, the less appropriate it is to tell him - although of course there may be exceptions where he has proved an unusual degree of maturity for his age. And of course there is the reaction of the parents to take into account. There are a pair of 17 year olds in my congregation whom I would love to get to know better, their parents know where I'm at - and don't appreciate the thought of my spending more time with them :-( The worst case scenario is where the boy abuses the trust of knowing about you. There are two major possibilities - one where he chooses to invite you to have sex with him, the other where he blackmails you into doing other things that are inappropriate by threatening to allege that something has happened. Overall I don't believe there is a general answer. I didn't volunteer the information to my YF - it was coerced by my church panicing over my contact with him about 4 years ago - but in retrospect I am pleased that it happened. My instinct is to be very unforthcoming unless the circumstances are extrordinary - and look for some pretty specific guidance from God before making what is a very irreversible decision! |
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