Re: A quote I came across....

'The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent' ...but parents definitely have their purpose. Some of the most unruly undisciplined kids I've ever seen are the children of parents who care more about being their child's friend than their mom or dad. It's a huge responsibility to raise a child in the way he/she should go. You can't do this by being a child's friend as much as you can through parenting. Being a mentor is a bit different. Mentors don't have the role of being disciplinarian (usually), and the child often confides in the mentor things he/she would never tell a parent. A parent's role is to teach that there are consequences to bad behavior by enforcing some on their children (e.g. taking away privileges (phone, computer, N64, etc), grounding, etc). A mentor doesn't do these things. A mentor also teaches, but not by enforcing rules or restrictions. A mentor teaches by advising, asking questions... making the child think for himself when faced with life-decisions. A parent who can both be disciplinarian and mentor is a rare thing. Actually, a child who accepts an adult as both disciplinarian and mentor is a rare thing. I was a boy's mentor for four years and his disciplinarian for three years. He didn't confide in me as much because he feared I'd punish him for something he told me he did and/or that I'd tell his mom (my girlfriend). He started to look at me as a parent -- so, in this way, I can see where the above speaker might be coming from when he says... 'The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent' But, then again, it depends upon how you define "success". I daresay that a good parent can do far more good for a child than a good mentor.