my experience
Submitted by F.O.D. on October 12 2001 10:59:28
In reply to A quote I came across.... submitted by Forgiven on October 11 2001 17:33:09
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I sort of agree with that statement. I prefer to think of my YF as my friend, and my equal, at least in principle. But his reaction one time was sort of funny. I can't remember exactly what he was reacting to, we were having some kind of fight. And he shouted "but you're not my Dad!" I didn't really know what to say to that. "Precisely right", I thought to myself. "And nor do I want to be". I want to be his friend, with the respect that entails, not his dad, with the power of him that that implies. I'm still not entirely sure what he had in mind when he said it. He was 15, and I was ready to extend to him all respect, as to an adult. But sometimes his behaviour went erratic and atrocious, and it seemed he wanted to be treated as a kid. He didn't have a dad of his own, you see. And part of treating him as a kid means keeping him disciplined. Being a dad. So maybe that's what he felt, this conflict between him wanting someone to discipline, while recognising at the same time there were limits to how much I could be a "dad" for him, that really I'm just his friend. He had, in a sense, to deal with the reality of my "inadequacies". I should ask him about it some day. Who am I exactly, to him? Fod |
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