A real problem
Submitted by Dakota on October 13 2001 16:27:37
In reply to A difficult situation submitted by kiowas on October 12 2001 20:05:49
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I can understand why you feel as you do, but the first thing to remember is you are NOT a monster. Your mother's perceptions and way of thinking are HER problems, not yours. But the fact remains that you love her and want to come to some kind of understanding. That's a hard one. My situation was a little different. Although I am a boylover, I also am attracted to women. But I didn't date much, and never married for a variety of reasons. I'm convinced my mom thought I was gay when I was growing up, and it hurt to hear her make suspicious comments and inuendoes. But when I grew into adulthood, she never mentioned it or refered to it at all. I don't know if she still thought I was gay, or if she just figured it wasn't her business. (which it wasn't) I was fortunate that I never had to explain to her that I was a BL. I would rather have her think I was gay. Not that I think being a BL is wrong or sinful. We can't help what we are, just what we do. But the world has a different view of people like us, so it was easier not to bring it up. But I guess your mom HAS brought it up. Hmm. All I can tell you is what I would do. I don't know if it is the right thing, since I never had to do it. But since she brought it up, and you seem to want to be able to tell her something, I would go ahead and try to explain exactly what your orientation is. You might even show her this board and let her read some of it. It might force her to re-evaluate her views and give you the peace you want and need. But be forewarned that being open with her carries a risk. She might not be able to accept the truth. And she might not keep the truth to herself, which means others may find out. There are some on this board that have been more open to others about what they are than I. Personally, I have kept it to myself except for a very few close friends. So perhaps others could guide you better than I can. Another choice would be to just let her think what she wants and not tell her anything. This would be the less risky thing to do, but can you handle living with her suspicions? From what you wrote, it seemed that this was eating at you, and it might continue to, unless you talk with her about it. Geez, reading back over what I wrote, I'm not sure if I helped at all. You know your mom best of all. So I guess you'll have to evaluate everything, and do what you think is best. Maybe someone else here has actually gone thru something similar. GOOD LUCK!! Dakota |
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