Re: boylove = a love that lasts a lifetime
Submitted by Splash! on October 22 2001 22:36:38
In reply to Re: boylove = a love that lasts a lifetime submitted by Lynx on October 22 2001 20:39:35
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I do know how much it would have meant to me, and maybe changed my life if I had had someone like me (as I am now) to love me when I was that age. Same here. I used to dream that someone would find me, be my friend, want to know all about me -- ask me questions and tell me about life. I remember my heart about to explode with the love I wanted to express to my father, but not being able to, and always feeling let down. He rarely, if ever, gave me the opportunity to reciprocate any love. I didn't have the type of father who would hug and hold his son, or swing him around, laugh and play, or joke around. I didn't even have the type of father who tries to direct his son's life and disciplines him when he makes bad choices. I felt like he was only doing his "fatherly duty" by having me tag-along with him when we went camping, visited flea markets, or did whatever else HE wanted to do. I hate that I never had a loving father, and I tried to be that kind of person to my YF. There were times that my YF would try to push me away; though, not often. Sometimes he'd act like he didn't know me when he was around his friends, and that really hurt me, but I understood. So, I'd steal a moment with him and tell him about my life as a boy. I'd tell him how much I would've loved to have someone in my life like I am in his life. I'd tell him, "No one was there for me, but I am here for you." He'd tell me, "I can tell you things that I can't even tell my friends." And I'd tell him, "I'm glad you feel that way. I never had someone like me when I was a boy, and that's why I'm here for you." I guess that's why I am the way I am today -- I try to give to other boys what I didn't get when I was a boy. |
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