Back from the Dead
Submitted by Pendragon on October 28 2001 12:50:48
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Hi all, I have been away most of the year. I made the commitment to God and to my wife not to work in the church youth program 1/10/01 this year. The commitment to God was to help me work on the lust I have for the children I work with that constantly interfered with the true love I have for them from Him. The commitment to my wife was to strengthen our not so strong relationship together. It has been a trial of a year. I even decided to not visit the CBLF (my mistake). I bought a new computer in July and it did not have the link to here that my old one did! When I decided I needed the support of other Christians I could not find the page!!!! Aaaaagghhhh!!!! Well, I visited boychat for the first time and some nice stranger helped me to find my way home here! Thanks to him! I am still struggling a lot. My main YF still comes to visit often and we are very very close. So close it scares me. He is truly a beautiful boy and I do love him. However, I fear that by taking myself out of my servants role in the youth group and having a healthy outlet for myself with the boys (seeing them every week, taking them to movies, etc..) I find that I have more unhealthy outlets for my needs of BL. I am working and praying on it but I guess it wouldn't hurt if anyone here prayed for me. Gots to run. TTFN Godspeed, Pendragon "I took my love, I took it down" -FM |
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