Re: I Have A Question For Everyone. What if...
Submitted by Heather on November 9 2001 00:22:16
In reply to I Have A Question For Everyone. What if... submitted by Chris on November 8 2001 16:00:49
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You've had the misfortune to encounter the do-as-I've-done-or-you're-damned section of the ex-gay community. Rest assured that they're not the only representatives of the ex-gay community, any more than the boylovers who say you're damned to a lifetime of misery if you don't have sex with a boy are the only representatives of the boylove community. I'm afraid, though, that it's impossible to persuade some people who are pro-change to understand a decision simply to remain celibate, just as it is impossible to persuade some boylovers that a life of celibacy can be fulfilling. The best one can do is try to point out that others who may share their view on certain issues do not share their view on this particular issue. So if I were you, I would send them a copy of "So What if Your Attractions Don't Change?", a talk given by an ex-gay leader, Sonia Balcer, at the annual meeting of Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization. Below is an excerpt. The talk is available on a tape you can order at this site: http://www.christian-tapes.com/ex_00_Conf.htm But it may be that Sonia can provide you with a written copy of the talk. You can contact her through her organization, "Justice & Respect: Conservative Christians for a just and respectful response to those who experience same-sex attraction" (linked below). Heather So What if Your Attractions Don't Change? Sonia Balcer - for strugglers already on the journey out "What if my attractions don't change?" "Why do some experience miraculous shifts while others endure trials year after year without relief?" These are questions which bring up painful uncertainty and agonizing decisions, and which have unfortunately shipwrecked the faith of many. For those who have not found themselves moving into a courtship with the opposite sex, it is crucial to face the "what ifs" so that celibacy for a season or for a lifetime is neither a retreat from intimacy nor a holding pattern for barrenness in "hope deferred". Our culture, both in the world and in the church, provides few images of a healthy calling to celibacy that is a true counterpart to the calling of marriage. Christ desires an ardent and fearless embracing of a walk in which our eyes are opened to the glorious work He is doing in the world -- even a skeptical world which demands "proof of change" -- with faith that even if we do not understand how He is leading us, He has called us to be a vital part. |
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