Hi there

I've also had trouble over the years talking about matters related to my sexuality (though I'm not attracted to children), and the only thing that has given me the courage to do so is seeing what a positive effect talking about their sexuality has had on other people I know. This is true of everyone I've talked to: gays, ex-gays, boylovers and girl-lovers, recovering offenders . . . They all say that have someone to talk to about one's sexual feelings makes a tremendous difference in one's life. I know about the guilt feeling, too - I still struggle with it, and perhaps part of it is simply a warning signal not to act on my feelings, but I know that some of it came out of a lack of awareness of how many people share my feelings, because that part of it has eased as time goes on. Knowing that you're not the only person around struggling to find an ethical way to deal with certain sexual feelings can make a big difference. Have you tried talking to others about what happened between you and your dad? I know it can be hard to find a place where one can talk both about both being messed around with as a child and being attracted to kids oneself, but there's a set of support forums for both abuse survivors and minor-attracted adults (mainly recovering offenders, but there are some ever-celibate MAAs post there too). I've linked to it below. That isn't to say you shouldn't post here too, but the more support one gets, the better shape one is in. Heather [E-mail]   [Home Page] Healing Together