Two questions
Submitted by Forgiven on November 18 2001 11:57:39
In reply to Guilt and BL submitted by Ender3306 on November 16 2001 21:47:19
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1) What is going on in his head. An FBI expert is quoted as saying: "There is no human being on the face of the earth easier to seduce than an adolescent boy in his early teens. They have an ease of sexual arousal. They're curious. They're exploring their sexuality. They sometimes have a need to be rebellious." and from my own experience of being a 11 year old, I have no doubt that much the same issues apply with A. The worst case scenario is that he does something that indicates that he really does want to play at sex with you. (I use the phrase advisedly.) One of the advantages of a 'Christian' environment with all its rules can be that it means there are certain boundaries that are taken as read. As a result things won't go a certain route; therefore in fact you can be more relaxed about the messages that you are sending out because they won't be interpreted as inappropriate, because that obviously isn't the intention. On the other hand, one of the problems with dealing with children is that they are testing those rules, along with all others; as a result they are not as secure. Which brings us to question 2 - what is going on in your head? Is your relationship genuinely innocent, or is there a fantasy element in there which would like there to be a sexual relationship. I've had YFs where both categories were the honest truth. If you are in fact fantasising about him in an unhelpful way then you need to be aware that he may be able to pick that up and want to explore the issue. 'If life was simple, it would be boring!' By the sounds of it you've got a great relationship going that's good for both of you; let's hope that it stays where it should. But I would encourage you to consider how you would respond to an explicit sexual invitation from him - such things DO happen - in such a way as to make clear what you don't want to happen, without making him feel rejected. But anyway - welcome aboard! |
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