Re: Is this God's test or his message?

Hi Oliver, Thanks for your post (and to others for their replies as well). You are right in line at sensing a huge difference between the passion that I feel for this young boy (and have felt for others in the past) and the passion that I feel for my girlfriend. We have definately had fun times together, and I do believe that the relationship has brought us both closer to God. I have learned how to operate in a relationship, to be patient and giving, and to work as a team. I never did that growing up because all I cared about was chasing after boys. I AM boycrazy in that I certainly do enjoy cute boys whenever I see them. But I also do attach myself in rare occasions to a particular boy who really strikes my fancy. I am absolutely sure though that all boys who I have been so close to have benefitted from the relationship. The only sexual aspect of those relationships has been my private fantasies at night. Otherwise, the boy has only seen a devoted older friend. I have led quite a few boys to Christ in my short time as a Christian and I know that I will try with this boy as well. So, I do see God's hand in putting him in my life. But on the other side, I am also impacted by the relationship. Or more importantly, I am reminded of what is absent in my relationship with my girlfriend. I cannot pretend to feel the same passion for her that I feel for some boys. So, I suppose your advise is right. I will keep praying for God to change me, but I will also be surrendered to the fact that God will act in his time. If he wants me to be married, he will make it clear. Thanks again for your input. That is not a picture of me. I liked the pic because it shows a boy exactly as I am most drawn to them. I did take it myself, btw so I figure I'm entitled to use it as my own :-) You are not alone. Love, Ben