Well - here you're ordinary
Submitted by Forgiven on November 24 2001 19:52:49
In reply to Is there somethingwrong with me? submitted by Laichi on November 24 2001 17:37:34
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but it is hard to answer your questions in a fair way; I tend to view my being a boylover as a disability - so it depends on what you mean by 'wrong'. The first question I need to ask is about your faith; this is the Christian board; there is a more general (and more active) board over at www.boychat.org which doesn't make any assumptions about people's faith. Here we tend to expect people to be starting from some sort of Christian assumptions, though there are a fair number of posters who don't have any faith but still find this to be a good place to be. And it is from that faith pattern that I argue that we are disabled. It's a useful model - it emphasises the degree to which we can't do anything about what we are, while leaving ambiguous whether we are to blame for it. But it doesn't let us of the hook - we are still expected to live responsible lives, and for most of us that means avoiding sexualised relationships with boys. The complex issue is what are safe and appropriate relationships. Many of us seem to have found some constructive and positive friendships with boys where we have been a positive influence on their lives without anything inappropriate happening. Often we seem to be more able to relate to boys than anyone else around them - and are more willing to do so, though it is a risky strategy as things can go wrong. But when they go right, we can make a significant contribution to them; as someone in his early 40s, some of whose ex-'young friends' are now late 20s, and seem to have benefited - one even refers to me as his mentor for the time I spent with him when he was 16-18. Anyway - welcome aboard - I hope to hear more of you, and hope you find this a place of encouragement that you are not alone. If you want to chat more I've included my email address - an anonymous one is recommended!! |
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