An unhelpful fantasy blown away by God
Submitted by Forgiven on December 2 2001 06:25:25
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My age of attraction wanders up to 20 or so, with the result that the trainees at work often seem 'cute'.... For the past year there's been one particular one whom I've got on quite well with. He's 19 and allegedly has a girl friend. However we get on quite well in a positive sense, though there's perhaps been more of sexual element to the attraction for me than is healthy recently. So last week we had 'The Office Christmas party'. This is a relatively cheap affair at an off site venue; this year we went out for a meal to be followed by disco at the place. The evening started off well - I joined the group of perhaps 4 youngsters at the bar whose company I enjoy; three of them were with their girl friends though 'the cute one' (TCO....) was notable for not having his there. I bought him a drink and the conversation drifted on - I seemed to be doing OK, but it was totally vacuous stuff. Then - disaster; we went in to be seated for the meal, and I got seperated from the youngsters to be mixed in with a load of people I know well enough, but whom I don't really get on with. The conversation flagged - to the point where I seemed to be in the middle of a well of silence, with everyone else talking to someone else. I was getting increasingly miserable.... The meal ended and the DJ took the stage. It was NOISY. I guess I'm showing my age by complaining, but it rendered conversation challenging; which I suppose is the point to some extent, the alternative explanation being that the endorphin effect of noise battering on your ears is the same as a drug. Anyway... TCO turned out to be an enthusiastic dancer - prancing around very cutely on the dance floor. One has alternatives at this point; continuing to sit in a cocoon of misery watching, getting involved on the dance floor, or seeking refugee from the racket. After a pause, I took the last option, and retired to a quieter area - where was also to be found one of my older colleagues and his wife; he's relatively new to the organisation, and I'd not had much contact with him, though I'd picked up that he lived in roughly the same area as I did. We chatted a bit - and came to the view that this noise was no fun - so they drove me home and came in for a hot drink; along the way it became clear that they were enthusiastic Christians and that they had some particular skills that might be relevant to things happening at my church. Overall we had an outstandingly good time of fellowship and encouragement in the best possible sense - all because I 'happened' to go out at the right time... William Temple is credited with the statement that 'When I pray, coincidences happen'. Which has had the effect of knocking some sense into my attitude to TCO. The reality is that I've yet to find anything that we really share an interest in; in practice it's more a case of 'blond bimbo' model of a relationship (thinking about it, his hair is blond!). This is in marked contrast to the real YFs in my life, where there are a lot of shared interests. The question thus is whether to make the effort to try to build a friendship with TCO on the basis of something more solid, or recognise that it is pure fluff that isn't worth making anything of; I suspect the latter is the answer.... |
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