Re: How do you prevent idolizing your YF?
Submitted by Ben on December 2 2001 21:12:17
In reply to How do you prevent idolizing your YF? submitted by Tigris on November 30 2001 18:32:16
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Hi Tigris, Well, this has been the story of my life for sure. I remember falling in love with boys in High School and spending up to a YEAR obsession over the boy. One boy in particular, I remember seeing at a ski area and then again the next summer at the local pool club. I made friends with him and then I spent my ENTIRE sophmore year, driving by his house after school hoping that I might get a glimpse of him. I was 17 and he was 12 and I basically did nothing except dream about him for a year. That was one of many wasted years of my life. Eventually, I learned that fantasy and masterbation to random boys that I might see in my life, was far less painful than getting attached to one. So, I stayed out of love for a few years, only to fall even harder in my sophomore year of college. Once again I vowed that this would not happen again. It was a couple of years later that I bought a camera and I found that having pictures of boys that I fell for helped me to feel that I could keep a part of them with me (there were never pornographic or even suggestive pictures....I'm talking beach shots, etc). Unfortunately, my thirst for pictures of boys became an idolatrous lifestyle as well, one that I have curbed but still not overcome. I have learned though two things: a) I can redirect my energy with boys who I love to helping them, being a part of their lives and ultimately leading them to Christ. b) Because I think that a boy is beautiful and am attracted to him does not mean that I need to fantasize about him. I realize that this is more of a commiseration than a formula for success. I do not think the solution is to take him out of your mind though. In Colossians 2 verse 23 Paul talks about such restraints: "Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." You are better off trying to desexualize the thoughts rather than trying to avoid them. Besides, I do believe that God uses our attraction to bring us to children whose lives we can impact in a positive way. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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