Managing My Feelings
Submitted by Ben on December 3 2001 20:24:20
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A few weeks ago I went to visit friends of mine who live in a nearby state, a couple of hours away. I visit them from time to time. Anyway, I know that my friend's best friend from his childhood has a young son named Ricky. I met Ricky breifly when he was about six years old. Ricky was a shockingly beautiful boy with straight blonde hair, deep dark brown eyes and a face that would stop most BLs in their tracks. I have thought about Ricky often as the years have gone by, just imagining how attractive he must be getting as he gets older. Anyway, as we were visiting a few weeks ago, my friend made mention of his best schoolmate visiting the day before with his family (which would have included Ricky). I casually asked how old Ricky is now and he said, "Oh, he's in fifth grade now. He thinks he's so cool walking around in chinos and no shirt on". So, immediately I had this inner explosion occur in my head thinking to myself, "Oh my gosh, Ricky was walking around shirtless???" And at this point, I had this enourmous need to be able to witness such an image first hand. My mind went numb and I was completely obsessed with this image, not to mention frustrated that I had arrived a day late. When I got home, I couldn't handle how I felt, the desire, the frustration, a need to have something that I couldn't. I could only deal with these emotions by fantasizing and burying my feelings in temporary sexual 'medication'. So, I am curious if this is the type of thing that others here experience. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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