Howdy, quasitwin!
Submitted by JohnDoe420 on December 7 2001 19:13:01
In reply to Help, I know i'm sinning submitted by John Doe on November 27 2001 02:12:12
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Not being much of a BL, I'm not sure if I'll be popping back in... but I came here to see what God means to the average self-defined Christian Boylover, and ran across your post... Before I go any farther, this is -all- IMHO. "Its 2 am, and I can't sleep. Why? Well i had another rough evening with my ex. I went to my son's wrestling practice, and was told that I was not welcome there, even though the court order says that I am to have equal access to his extracorricular and recreation activities. My wife has poisoned the well against me by spreading the word around town of my attractions. Attractions I must emphisize that I have never acted on. yet still she has half the town afraid that i am out to jump the bones of every 8 yo boy I can get my hands on, right in the middle of a school with all sorts of parents around." I'll get into the legalisms more later down the thread... "So what is my sin? Probably the worst one of all, Hate. I actually found myself praying tonight for the eternal damnation of another human, the mother of my children no less. I know i should not feel this way, yet still I do." Yeah, this is -especially- where the IMHO part comes in... :) ...reading my posts elsewhere, you've probably discerned that there are few that can find where I feel something is wrong. You've found one, and you're right, hatred is a pretty nasty thing. Quite frankly, however, as it stands now, it's more wrong as a harm to you than as a harm to another. Face it; you're happier when you love everyone unconditionally, and that's the way it's supposed to be. Leaving this tangent aside for the moment, I'd like to talk about love. There's two ways I've seen people go about love. The first is "Well, it's something I -have- to do, so... I WILL love my enemies... I WILL I WILL I WILL!" This usually accomplishes no genuine love, although it may well fake it to prevent, say, mass-murder, which is a benifit in its own right. It really doesn't help the person who is forcing themself to 'love' this person, though, and spending all their time thinking things, and then thinking they aren't right... ...the other way of going about it is to try to understand the other party. I feel comfortable stating on the basis of what I have seen that -everyone- has -some- reason for what they do, and that while it may well make the error of not taking a thousand things into account, it's still at least understandable. For example, I would wager that even your ex-wife would understand your hatred for her, should she be able to see past her own (probable) hatred for a moment. So what is driving her? The part of your town who thinks you want to jump every 8yo boy has an understandable reason for their actions - they apparently think you're a probable rapist - even though this is based on an utter fallacy... and yet, if you honestly believed the same of another, would you act differently? Does that you would do the same make it easier to love them as yourself, understanding them through yourself, even though you have no choice but to know of their error? Now, is this what drives your ex, or is it something else? Know it. Know that she honestly believes it. Think as to what you would do, or feel like doing, in the same place. It is truly a blessing that all have sinned, for how else would we understand and forgive those who trespass against us? But, it is one of the curious ironies of this world that only an honest love rooted in understanding can allow us to overcome those difficulties which incite us to hatred. I wholeheartedly believe that -that-, and not some arbitrary 'I am evil for feeling thus,' is why it is an error to hate... because if no one will put down hatred for a moment to see a way out of it, then it will never cease to beget itself. I wish you well. |
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