Re: Newbie
Submitted by Ben on December 9 2001 07:55:48
In reply to Newbie submitted by Digger on December 4 2001 20:46:58
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Hi Digger, Great to have you here. I'd be curious to know how you finally came across this board. I was part of the BL community about six years ago, in the early days of boychat. About three years ago I met a Christian family who opened their home and their lives to me, and eventually I responded as did the Jews in Acts 2:38 by being baptized into Christ. Since then, my life and my views have radically changed, though my orientation at the core is still towards young boys. As for my life, I grew up somewhat as you did, albeit on the other side of the world. I really had no idea what I was doing, I just knew that being around and seeing boys was virtually all that was important to me in my life. I didn't even think of myself as gay, for this was something that I never would have wanted to acknowledge. I just wanted to fit in and be like the other boys, so I did so by acting cool. But inside, I was hopelessly attracted to my friends from the age of about 11 or so. As I grew into my teen years, I never stepped out of my attraction to 11-13 year olds. I have also only satisfied my desires with masturbation and the object of my fantasies is 95% towards boys who are not wearing shirts (especially those wearing Speedos...) and not towards elicit fantasies of boys involved sexually. I do certainly admire Australian boys though, they are beautiful and always very fit (at least compared with American boys). Since becoming a Christian, I have really curbed my sexuality and have tried to focus more on God. My love for boys has drawn me to help them, whether in sports or in church, or in the community. Boys are also drawn to me, though I have never recognized any sexual cues from them. Maybe it's just my ignorance. I look forward to hearing from you more. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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