Re: Feeling empty . . .
Submitted by Ben on December 11 2001 21:39:41
In reply to Feeling empty . . . submitted by tigris on December 11 2001 21:29:03
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Hi Tigris, I guess I first want to tell you that I believe that you did the right thing. I think that if you look at from God's perspective you had two choices, either do what YOU wanted (ie - to keep your relationship untainted with the boys) or to do HIS will, to protect them. The bottom line is that kids on the street get into lots of trouble. They ran the risk of breaking laws themselves and, more seriously, ran the risk of being kidnapped, abused, and who knows what else. Jesus said in Luke 17:2 "It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin". What you did was to avoid this and instead you protected little ones from sinning. Now you have to deal with the personal consequences. Yet, Jesus was all about suffering personally for the good of others. I truly believe that you responded as Jesus would and that God will bless you for it. I can VERY much relate to periods of my life where my 'standing' with a particular boy had a powerful emotional control on me. I would walk away from EVERY experience wondering if he 'liked me' or 'wanted to be with me again'. I totally know how you feel. The only suggestion that I can make is for you to stand up for what you represent to these boys. You have already done what you did. If you cower from them or try to make excuses for what you did, you will seem weak to them. On the other hand, if in your own words you express to them, "I don't care if you love me or not...if I see you in trouble, I'm going to dive in first and save you, and then ask questions later. I love you guys too much to let you get....." Etc, etc. You get the idea. This way you come from a position of strength and conviction, a position which you actually have right now. Well done good and faithful servant. Have faith that God will do immeasureably more than you can on your own. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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