Re: A few comments
Submitted by Ben on January 7 2002 08:13:22
In reply to A few comments submitted by Forgiven on January 7 2002 03:02:14
|
Hi Forgiven, Well here are some attempted answers, done in bold cause I'm too lazy to put on tags :-))) 1) I am so passionate about this kid. If only I could feel this way about women.... Ouch - all sorts of alarm bells there!! AGREED. IF THIS IS HOW MOST MEN FEEL ABOUT THEIR GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES THEN I FEEL LIKE I'M VERY FAR FROM THE GOAL. 2) How old is your girl friend's son? Any chance of having the two of them sleep over together - or indeed some other boys from church; this was my solution to the issue some years ago - it's safer for everyone, and in the end the boys from the church have become really good friends. I TOTALLY AGREE. IN EACH OF OUR PLANS I'VE INCLUDED OTHER KIDS FOR AT LEAST PART OF THE NIGHT. FOR EXAMPLE, NEXT WEEKEND WE ARE GOING WITH TWO OTHER KIDS HIS AGE AND THEIR DAD'S WHO ARE MY FRIENDS, TO A COLLEGE SPORTING EVENT. MY GF'S SON IS 4, BUT TJ LOVES LITTLE KIDS AND HE IS QUITE GENTLE WITH THEM. 3) Again, the real question - what is God view of all this; is this 'made in heaven'? PAST RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAVE HAD WITH BOYS IN CHURCH HAVE BEEN LIFE CHANGING FOR THEM. I HAVE NEVER MOLESTED AND NEVER FELT AT RISK TO MOLEST, SO I DO BELIEVE IT IS GOD'S WILL. 4) You could do with digging into the question as to why he doesn't have any real friends of his own age group WE'VE TALKED ABIT. ALL OF HIS 'FRIENDS' HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MANY ARE IN 'GANGS' (THOUGH I WONDER WHAT KIND OF GANGS 10 YEAR OLDS ARE IN...). HE LIVES IN A FAIRLY ROUGH TOWN. MY GUESS IS THAT HIS FRIENDS ARE NOT VERY ENCOURAGING...JUST WORLDLY. 5) And the hard one - how sexual is your appreciation of him, and how far is it non-sexual? THERE DOESN'T EXIST A BOY THAT I DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE. TJ IS VERY CUTE. I WAS FIRST DRAWN TO HIM BY HIS LOOKS, BUT I'M GETTING STUCK TO HIM BY WHO HE IS, HIS SENSE OF HUMOR AND ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WE ARE FINDING WE HAVE IN COMMON. ESSENTIALLY, IT IS THE WAY THAT MEN AND WOMEN FALL IN LOVE. I WOULD SAY THAT I AM MORE ATTENTIVE TO HIS SMILE AND HIS WARMTH, THEN TO 'CHECKING HIM OUT'. I HAVE REALLY COME TO TERMS A LONG TIME AGO WITH HOW I RELATE TO BOYS ONE ON ONE. I AM VERY COMFORTABLE WITH THEM AND I DON'T FEEL THAT I AM ABUSIVE IN MY THOUGHTS. Thanks for your good questions my friend and for caring. I really appreciate it. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
Follow ups: