Thanks for your amazing honesty
Submitted by Forgiven on February 2 2002 12:31:53
In reply to What makes me tick submitted by Ben on February 2 2002 07:33:03
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and undoubtedly the first thing to say is 'There but for the grace of God go I' or alternatively 'I'm just too lazy to so consistently pursue boys.' It's hard to know what motivates me - in practice I think it is something about wanting an easy life, comfortable and pleasant without too much effort or risk. And on the whole I've achieved it. I've got an job that pays adequately in return for minimal effort from me (though my employer gets the best of this deal, at least in my perception). I've got a few 'boys' who are a good part of my life (though at 18+ they perhaps don't conform to the BL ideal)..... and not a lot From a Christian perspective our proper motivation lies in serving God, and it is in that service that we will find satisfaction and purpose. The challenge for both of us therefore lies in finding some means by which our talents can be harnessed to the work of God in the world to an extent far greater than now. In thoery our churches should provide a portal through which such service can be done. In practice they often fail to capitalise on the talents of those of us who don't fit the norm in lots of ways. However going and talking to some leaders in your church might be a useful way forward in the short term. I hope and pray that you will find some appropriate outlet for your talents in the near future; it's exciting to hear you asking such hard questions of yourself, as only as those questions are asked can you begin to find the answers that will lead to you serving God in your whole life. (PS - Whether your service will involve boys or not at this moment is unclear. The challenge for you is to allow GOD to lead you to what he has planned for you, which will be the right thing - but you can't go to Him saying 'I'll do anything as long as it involves boys'; for us BLs a feature of our true repentance is a willingness leave that part of our life to Him. That is true trust of God - not easy - but then the way of the Cross is not easy....) |
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