Bach, Thanks for your wisdom in this. At a church level, I definately am involved in peoples lives. We have small groups within our fellowship in which we more closely can impact each other. Furthermore, I am currently leading our youth ministry, which I do believe is having a positive impact on the kids. I guess my issue is more on a micro than a macro level. I am looking less at my motivation for how I choose to live my life and more at my moment to moment motivation. When I am around boys, I am totally alive....full of energy, excitement, enthusiasm and a desire to do well. When I am not, when I need to go to work, or wash my car or do the laundry, I am lazy and unmotivated. It is almost inevitable that by 3pm in the afternoon I will be tired and will start having lustful thoughts. I'll loose interest in whatever I am doing (unless it involves boys). It is this day to day issue that I am more concerned with right now. I have an easier time living my life for God than I have living my day for him. Hope that makes some sense. You are not alone. Love, Ben |