I always find posts like this hard to deal with. I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing, well... First off, I struggled with similar thoughts (mumble mumble) years ago. So, I understand how things got the way they did for you. I also understand that I'm inadequate for dealing with something like this thoroughly. About all I can do is offer my prayers that your wishes are not carried out. And from what I get from the 4th chapter of Jonah is that God doesn't work that way. This board can be a supplement to the help you need, but I don't think we can replace the professional, personal help you need. I for one feel I have neither the tools nor the wisdom. Is there a Lutheran Social Services or some comparable organization for the Roman Catholics in your area? I've had good luck with the counselors at both organizations in my city. And with a sliding pay scale, it's affordable for everybody. And I can't think of what else to say right now |