'in love' versus 'loving'
Submitted by Splash! on March 13 2002 00:50:03
In reply to Re: When is boysex okay? (in response to Nate) submitted by Ben on March 12 2002 20:13:38
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I'm not really sure that it is possible to demand a dichotomy where either you LOVE BOYS or you are ATTRACTED TO BOYS. Love and attraction are many times hard to separate. Is being "in love" with someone equal to "loving" someone? Currently, I am "in love" with a beautiful woman because she is very attractive, has a great personality, is a caring person, intelligent, athletic, very popular, etc. But do I love her? I can't. I don't think I know her well enough to love her yet. Do I want to spend my life with her? Yes, as far as I know, I do. I'm very much interested in getting to know her more and to be there for her, but I have yet to love her. So, likewise, I think it may be unfair for us as boylovers to expect to "love" the boys we are "in love" with -- at least in the beginning stages of getting to know them. (The "in love" part could be a physical attraction or maybe some other way in which we feel connected to boys: personality, humor, intelligence, empathy, etc). I think most of us go from being "in love" with someone to "loving" someone, and I know it also happens the other way -- from "loving" someone to falling "in love" with someone. It's usually the attraction that comes first, and then the actual concern, care, and love for that person. The only exception I can think of is when a person is "family" in some way, and then it begins with "love" and may or may not lead to anything else. Thanks for exploring these ideas with me. :) Splash |
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