Re: wow
Submitted by Splash! on March 18 2002 01:19:42
In reply to wow submitted by Dakota on March 16 2002 20:11:49
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Dakota, I also grew up considering myself to be bisexual all those years. I had very strong gay feelings when I was a kid (for other boys my age), but I didn't even admit it to myself. Actually, I thought everyone else was like me, except that they were more capable of repressing those feelings, perhaps forcing themselves to like girls more. I thought my homosexual tendencies would fade as well. And they did, except my feelings for boys stayed the same. The bigger the age gap, the more I began to realize that I couldn't even call myself bisexual anymore. I liked women and boys, not men. I finally had to come to terms with the lie I had been telling myself and that I wasn't like other boys/men (on the average anyway). And like you, I probably wouldn't mind having a sexual relationship with a boy either. If I was put in a particular situation, I don't know if I'd be strong enough not to be tempted in that direction. I think I am strong enough, but who knows? I already know that I'm capable of lying to myself and justifying certain actions so I can follow through with what I want. How can I say it won't happen when I'm tempted by a sexually flirtatious boy? The only thing that really holds me back is my relationship with God and my knowing that there'd be a good chance I'd harm the boy -- even if the only harm to him is that he later tells someone about it and they make him feel bad. So, I try not to think much about it either. I don't want to deceive myself. So, like you, I'll take the blame for being close-minded on this issue if it means I never err on the side of harming a boy. Splash |
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